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Wicky-Leaks! – Ashes Diary of the 17th Man – Jul 3

Day 2 – Aust V Worcester

With just a week to go until the First Test, twitter is alight with “experts” naming their predictions for the Test line up, all in less that 142 characters.  One of the hotel staff has started printing these out and pinning them up on the notice board near the lobby, highlighting those of us who are in all of the lists, those who are out, those who are in more than they are out and those that are out more than they are in.  As if the Twitterati has any idea what’s going on in Coach2.0’s head.  As if he is the only one to make the decision!

There was a knot of players adrift in the batting order reading the tweets as I walked past after our post-meal team meeting tonight with Sarah (aka The Girl from Marketing).  She shook her head.  “You know that half those people are fake, boys. Don’t pay any attention.”

Puff looked confused for a moment.  He knew that ALL of the players getting named ahead of him in various batting line-ups were real enough – especially the ones who were ring-side a couple of weeks ago.

“I mean the people writing the tweets.  That’s not the real Richie Benaud, that’s not the real KP,” she said stabbing the notice board with her finger. “And that’s not the real Chairman of Selectors,” she said, peering closely at one of the sheets.  “You should know that.  He only tweets about moussaka recipes and tips on bonsai propagation.  Never about cricket.”

dt_0307Just then, a sheet of paper fell off the noticeboard from behind a tweet proclaiming the benefits of having 6 opening bats in the line up, and fluttered towards the floor.  I knew straight away what it was, and grabbed it before it landed.

I didn’t get to read it until I met The Prof in his room.  “Good side you guys have picked.  Looks strong on paper, well balanced and has good form. It will be a good contest!  Deep Third.”

“How does he know who’s playing before we do?” I said with no small amount of indignation.

Prof held the paper up to the light, then bit it twice. “Inside information. So who’s the mole? Anyone acting strange lately?” He looked me straight in the eyes. I stared back.

WICKY!” I said. Acting strange. Tick. Inner circle. Tick. In need of cash. Always.

“Don’t jump to conclusions, he may just have a nasty rash.  We need to test it out,” said The Prof. He was about to propose a test method when our phones both buzzed with the “Nighty, Night!” text we get from Coach2.0 most nights now to remind us of curfew. We’ll sort something out tomorrow while the lads finish of the Worcs.

Swann took five wickets at some backyard game in Essex. Woop-dee-do.

Aust 4/396 d, Worcestershire 7/246

Engl 9/413 d & 4/279, Essex . . . .oh who cares, it wasn’t a real game anyway.

Meet the Squad here

OUT NOWThe Ashes Files 2013. The secret applications file that Cricket Australia assembled when they threw applications open to all comers. Ebook available at amazon now.

COMING SOON: Coach2Coach – The story of Australia’s chequered prepartion for the 2013 Ashes, as told by The 17th Man. (Available 6 July 2013)

© 2013 Dave Cornford & Jeremy Pooley

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