A Note from Deep Third
Team England Has Landed!
As you know, in these enlightened times, there are no tales to tell of wild drinking sessions on the plane. I can report moderation in everything except the consumption of smoked salmon from the Business Class “Mobile Buffet.” The only incident of note came when a fast bowler, who I shan’t name, attempted to order a Pims and Lemonade. The whole group drew breath and were about to guffaw as one when the rather inscrutable Cabin Service Manager drew the fire with “Would sir prefer regular or diet lemonade?”
Later in the flight, our new Technical Director – Apparel was passing around samples of some new playing trousers he has had developed. There was a steady steam of players in and out of the Business Class toilets as the different sizes and shapes were tried on and paraded down the aisle.
It was only after the catwalk pouting had died down that I had a chance to check out the new strides, and there were some interesting features that weren’t apparent during the parade. One pair had an invisible zip built into the side of both legs, which seemed a bit “obvious” in the wake of South Africa’s “zipper gate” in Dubai. On the other hand, the pair with the almost undetectable special abrasive panels built in to the side of the legs were discussed at length over the last case of Perrier in the leg from Singapore. The main drawback appears to be the nasty rash wearers inevitably develop over the course of a day’s play – regular chaffing is surely enough to have to cope with.
As for the first press conference, the journalists here are a bit think, aren’t they? They kept asking Chef about the Australian Team, and the form of One Day captain Mr G in particular. What would he know? As if the England Captain is watching any footage of the sub-continental hit and giggle they’re managing to fit in between monsoonal downpours. He’s too busy trying to write his book “Chef’s Ashes Recipes” and get it out within three months of your excellent tome “Ashes Diary – Summer of the 17th Man.” I hear he’s struggling with the introduction. And the page numbers.
Hoping to be in frequent communication through the summer as we march to a fourth Ashes series win in a row. [Ed. Dream on, DT, dream on.]