Thursday, February 27, 2020
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Best of Twitter – Day 3 – Fourth Test

Cricket is at its best when the supporters of the visiting side get really hot under the collar at a lost opportunity. The English Empire was striking back – for a second – then it fell back in a pile of s**t. That word is now surely a technical term along with the word Faaaark, the term players most often use during a BBL game to describe a 4, 6 or missed run out. Some have even used it as a term of jubilation when they take a wicket. Test cricket is different – it is more subtle! [Ed. The Prof liked that!] Enjoy.

@ichymochek: With Kerry O’Keefe retiring from the commentary box there won’t be anybody there to laugh at his jokes @abcgrandstand 

@ZaltzCricket: Another Haddin stat: first man to score four 1st-inns 50s batting 7 or lower in a Test series. #bitobscurethatone

@TheCricketGeek: Brad Haddin is wasted in cricket. With his luck he should be making a killing playing poker against Shane Warne

@thefulltoss: You sense another momentum shift. England 120 all out. Australia win by the time I wake up. Probably

@LouiseSealey: Cook 15 from 9. See KP, you can play positively without playing a slog that has less chance of coming off than the mayo on my Xmas jumper.

@TomCStandard: Few more arriving at the MCG. Crowd moves steadily upwards towards the one million mark

@TheCricketGeek: England have yet to trail in this Test Match. I am excited about that. It is like a malaria riddled oasis in a desert of disillusionment

@tdsymes1: Watching Cook & Carberry. is like revisiting Tavare & Botham on the 3rd day of the Old Trafford Test in ’81

@AlviroPatterson: Would rather watch Michael Carberry bore the bowlers to death by not playing strokes than Dave Warner trying to hit every ball

@CricketGreg: Shane Watson really doesn’t look at all fit enough to be bowling. More like me running in after 8 pints the night before

@Corpse_in_Pads: Watto – bowling with as much venom as a dead snake in a taxidermist shop window – hisses as he is dispatched to the boundary

@markpougatch: Shane Watson runs into bowl towing the same caravan hitched to Gareth Barry when he chased Mezut Ozil back in Bloemfontein

@tickerscricket:Carberry looking to resolve his problem of getting out after making a start by not making a start

@palfreyman1414: Did Swann’s family holiday include his floorboard cat? Has he packed the screwdriver? Watch out Bangkok!

@palfreyman1414: Johnson needs to be sponsored by Denim aftershave/eau de cologne methinks…

@gradecricketer: I will forever hate my parents for sending me to an expensive private school and thereby thwarting my chances of playing for Australia

@JamesTigerGib: If you look in a small office in Sofia you will see almost certainly the only person in the city weeping over that wicket

@Ontablets: England Cricket fans reach for the alcohol immediately

@becci_afc: imagine being caught at mid off, off the bowling of lyon for a golden duck. just imagine how shit that’d be

@FreedmanDennis: Pakicollapse at the MCG

@nikhiltait: Hello England collapse, you were being missed @TheKevPietersen: What a f*****g shambles. F**k these amateur England team mates, I’m going back to play for South Africa #ProperTeam

@NotMitchJohnson: ”KP proved he is selfish by not joining his mates in the mega collapse”  

@chrisbeckett200: Lyon should be embarrassed that he gets any praise for that over!

@FOXCricketLive: A wicket, a runout and a catch for Big Mitch. For his next trick, he’ll put on the gloves and take a stumping. #Ashes

@Not_Chappelli: England batsmen aren’t watching Lyon’s tongue… When it moves from left to right, he gets some drift across the stumps

@Corpse_in_Pads: KP – batting with the discipline of a child in a reform school plotting his escape route – considers a Piers Morganeque type shot!

@nfjw: You feel like Johnson could bowl with a cabbage & Haddin could bat with a banjo & they would still be better than us

@amy_cricket: Pietersen said earlier that England are mentally “a bit fragile.” Forgot to point out that technically they’re a bit shit as well

@ZaltzCricket: Peter Siddle is the only Aus batsmen averaging under 27 in this series

@GrumpyPigeon: England making it hard to work out which player Swanny reckons has his head stuck up his arse the farthest

@Corpse_in_Pads: Stokes – like a carrot pulled out of the ground prematurely and sent to a Woolworth’s ‘fresh food’ section – is batting like stale vegies.

@Corpse_in_Pads: Shane Warne “I don’t think the convo between KP & Warner will be too clever.” The only expert comment he’s ever made

@LiebCricket: Will KP be swallowing any Australian lifeforms this innings? And, if so, which? 

@AnalyseSport: Just hearing off the MCC, that the Ashes urn will be handed to the team that wins the 10-match contest on aggregate. Away win count double

@17thmandiary: OLD BAILEY:Social Services cites English Cricketers for bat neglect and tampering with underage Kookaburras.  ECB says charges disrespectful

@Corpse_in_Pads: Siddle – walking back to his mark like a gorilla in a New Age Zoo with a policy bananas are bad for your health – pulls a rotten nana face

@susher99: KP to Mitch I know how to pull – Mitch reply get your head back inside your backside #ouch

@YeahNahMaybe: KP wants those 15000 people moved

@Corpse_in_Pads: KP – pulling out like a man who doesn’t want to get a young girl pregnant – waves his bat around and shouts ‘Watch out for gold diggers!”

@CricketAus: Looks like bits of the MCG infrastructure have been blown onto the ground now…

@TitusOReilly: I was fine with plastic bags clogging up our rivers but when they start to interfere with the cricket, we need to act

@51Allout: All sorts of stuff is turning up in the outfield in this wind. Harold Holt will probably blow across the strip soon

@Pryke_in_Munich:  I fear for England’s fielding positions defending such a target. Cook will shit himself after 1st boundary

@17thManDiary: Swann will be a handful tomorrow.  Oh…


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