Tuesday, February 19, 2019
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Feb 8 – Man Up!

We’ve been sitting around here in the rain for days.  Net sessions and “intra-squad” matches just don’t cut it as far as getting ready for a Test match is concerned.

Anyway, I though it was time to review the squad that’s been lugged out to South Africa ready for the next big examination of the Team’s progress back to Number 1


Dust to Dust Puff 1T


Puff (Opener):  Short and powerfully built backwoodsman. A big six man. Loves a joke. Quick. Dives for everything. Hands bigger than Wicky’s gloves. Tweeter. Theme song: The Power and the Passion – Midnight Oil.



Dust to Dust Unlucky Final


Unlucky (Opener): A man with a list of first class batting achievements as long as his test career is short, although the series in Australia has started to correct that. The oldest player in the touring party, he has teenage children and a Walkman. Theme song: The Oldest Story in the Book – Paul Kelly.



Dust to Dust Lucky Final T


Lucky (No3): Lefty. Unstoppable when in form, back in the side to cover someone’s back. Straight shooter. Desperate to prove a point. Theme song: Walking on Sunshine – Katrina and the Waves.



Dust to Dust Hollywood Final T


Hollywood (No 3): Tall, well built surfer class all-rounder batsman.  Takes time alone to reflect, relax, renew – especially while injured. A true cricket brain. Theme song: An Innocent Man – Billy Joel.



Dust to Dust Captain Final T


The Captain (No 4): The consummate cricket professional. Leads from the front “power of one”, Type-A. Loves winning Tests. Footwork like a dancer. Tweeter. Theme song: World Leader Pretend – REM





Dust to Dust Trapper 5Trapper (No 5): Has emerged as a mid-order batsmen to be reckoned with.  An optimist and fidgeter in batting and adventurous in leg-spin bowling. Theme song: One Way or Another – Blondie





Apples (Batter) New boy picked to take over from Mr G, although has plenty of experience.  Solid, on everyone’s list of Players to Watch. Theme Song: Back Down South – Kings of Leon.

Junior (Batter) Has had a few goes in the team in all forms of the game without ever nailing it.  Oozing with unfulfilled potential.  No pressure, but this could be his last chance at Test Level.  Theme Song: Go West! – Village People


Dust to Dust Wicky Final TWicky (Wicketkeeper) (Vice Captain) : Dependable and supreme performer in recent Ashes series with gloves and bat. Communal spitter due to larynx injury removing a stump in U13 20/20 final. Loves sledging. Learning to tweet. Theme song: Almost With You – The Church




Tatts PreliminaryTatts (Quick) The leader of the Pack that put England to the sword in The Ashes.  Clean shaven now, but we all want to mo back.





Dust to Dust The Natural Final TThe Natural (Quick) A solidly built mountain of a man from the backblocks who loves flinging the ball down hour after hour at pace. Prone to conspiracy theories, broad smiles and injury. Theme song: Supernatural Superserious – REM




Dust to Dust Freak 1T


The Freak (Quick): Reliable  ‘Go To’ man when behind the eight ball. Takes the mickey.  Innovator. Drawer, pastel painter.  Easily bored. Theme song: SuperFreak (Rick James)




Dust to Dust Plopper 2T


Plopper (No1 Spinner):  Test regular. Only ever wanted to bowl for Australia. Slept with a ball since he was six. Will play even if not selected. Theme song: Straight to my Heart – Sting





 The Reject Club

Dust to Dust Jacka 1TJacka (All rounder): Bob the Builder type. Jack of all trades, recognised master of none. Want  to prove a point. Humorist and one-time stand up comic. Tweeter.



Dust to Dust Mantis Final TMantis (Quick):  Tall beanpole. Second change swinger. Fitness fanatic. Yoga man and ocean swimmer. Theme song: Short People – Randy Newman





Dust to Dust Rocket Man Final TRocket Man (Quick): Young clean tearaway with occasional reverse swing.  Huge wraps. Heavy mortgage on his future.  Guitar player, dancer and Boy band lover. Tweeter. Theme song: What Makes you Beautiful – One Direction




Dust to Dust Prof Final T


Prof (Batsman, occasional keeper): The curly-haired bespectacled brains of the team. Triple maths major.  Soothsayer and satirist.  Loathes curry but loves India. Thinks only birds tweet. Theme song: Money – The Flying Lizards





Dust to Dust Diarist Final T17th Man (Batsman): Diarist. Theme song: Always the Last to Know – Del Amitri






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