Friday, October 18, 2019
Home » Best of Twitter » Test in Tweets, Part II – SAvAUS – Third Test – Cape Town

Test in Tweets, Part II – SAvAUS – Third Test – Cape Town

This is Part II of the twitter feast from the Third Test at Newlands. Is there anything more that a dead Captain can do than call his men to stonewall more than 4 sessions for a draw on a fifth day shirtfront? Such is the die-in-the-ditch loyalty he commands in the dressing-room that they almost did it. As it was, nothing could deny a ‘pack of dogs’ ringing the bat from the first ball. It just took until the last 6 overs to do it. That is Test cricket.

Day 4

@PYROLordofFIRE: Graeme Smith is retiring? Has he been speaking to Graham Swann about how to retire whilst on top then? 😉
@TheMiddleStump: Graeme Smith, rest in pads
@thecricketcouch: Graeme Smith has crashed Cricinfo?
@Lyndogga: New Aussie cricket team slogan….”ending careers since ashes 2013″
@adamzwar: Du Plessis was “surprised” Australia got the ball to reverse. I’m surprised Du Plessis got past nought

@MarasLFC: I tell everyone I don’t care for cricket, but secretly I love it
@AshesCaptCook: SA have done well to get Australia back in early.  They should be able to force a result
@TheFrenchCut: Philander sends down his bouncers via a dial-up modem
@Adam_CF: If David Warner was a Ninja Turtle, he’d be Michelangelo #TheOrangeOne
@TwoTonTedSez: Nicholas already in puke-inducing mode

@AliAllahDitta: Without Steyn, the South African pack of fast bowlers are just a bunch of neutered wolves!
@FirdoseM: Get the feeling what’s going on out there doesn’t really matter for SA. All about the end of an era. What a way to end it
@pavilionopinion: Smith has clearly decided captaining Kevin Pietersen is more relaxing than setting a field to David Warner

@Mattys123: The only problem with Warner batting so well in both innings is he will get to talk to the media as man of the match #shooshdavey
@katandsean: Feel sorry for Warner’s Mrs if this is him “in the mood”
@Boggo1: David Warner has to be one of the least likeable people in the world alongside Jack Wilshere but Christ he’s in good nick

@Roland_AFC: #ICC should abolish snicko and just use Barry Roux for the review system. Can hear an edge from 170m away

@randomswill: Michelle Burger handling more torrid treatment in the witness box than the Proteas at Newlands. #OscarPistorius
@Cricket_X: I think Mark Nicholas is on the verge of creaming himself

@JustJimWillDo: The first heart transplant was by a South African surgeon. Has the first Face/Off surgery been done on Warner/Rogers?
@M_Habba: Rogers just nutmegged himself playing a smartass reverse sweep
@legsidelizzy: Oh Christopher
@17thManDiary: That awkward moment when Bucky realises he isn’t Dave Warner. OUT

@rambogoraya: Deadset forgot Doolan was even playing in this Test
@GeoffLemonSport: Brilliant. The Human Glacier comes in at No 3, when quick runs are needed. Great captaincy
@Rvolkie: Doolan has been possessed by Christopher James Tavaré!! Needs smelling salts, a crucifix and a good tazer to the cookies
@AresMarsFlack: Doolan playing the role of “old person who gets in my way when I’m rushing to the airport”. Hurry up Doolan
@nithdu: Dave Warner should walk down and hit Alex Doolan out of the park .. wasting overs, get on with it
@Gomorezvidinha: There isn’t a metal strong enough to form the razor that would be able to shave Doolan’s entire chin in one sitting

@Jack_Quigley: Dead set, if that was Pakistan batting you’d be asking questions about how much money had been thrown on the draw. Weird batting

@17thManDiary: The First Tuesday Book Club is more entertaining than watching Doolan bat. Even the bikini cricketers are shifting in their seats
@LiebCricket: I hope Twatto bats exactly like Doolan did just to piss Twitter off

@CorinnaSladey: That’s lunch on day four! Australia 1-180 with a lead of 387

@Therbs3: Putin in from the Crimea end, back of a length and Obama leaves it outside off. Vlad’s looking for early reverse but it’s not there
@notdekock: I’ve seen straight men more comfortable in a gay bar than Kyle Abbott under that catch

@luifromtheradio: Click clack, click clack. Can you hear that? It’s the South African wheels falling off their number one bus
@harrytheskipper: Only comfort I can take from @davidwarner31 scoring 2 tons in the match is that the last Aussie to do it against SA was Phil Hughes

@mattgauder2: Sad way to leave for Smith
@TestMatchSofa: Curtains for SA. Amla goes. We must all bend the knee and beg for merciful treatment from our Australian overlords. Again

Day 5

@jimmaxcricket: One last time, go tell it on a mountain
@TheFrenchCut: Today is an incredible opportunity for those who have always wanted to memorize AB De Villiers’ forward defensive

@MrBMYoung: dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot
@JonoMakai: The Braille version of War and Peace has less dots than this scorebook
@RossMartin1960: Disappointing crowd in Cape Town. Going to be a tough ask for the camera crew to pick out the babes today
@danbrettig: Seventeen runs in the first hour. The technical term for this approach is “blocking the shit out of it”

@AresMarsFlack: How long until Warner punches de Villiers?

@17thManDiary: Players so bored they have gone feral. Wolf noises and thick hair on Warner’s arms. AB breaks out the salt ring
@KabeloMmako#Pistorius must be wishing he had AB De Villiers on his defence tea
@SarcasmCricket: The weather forecast for the 10th day isn’t good. South Africa might need to speed up
@TheFrenchCut: It would be far more appropriate for AB and Abbott to bat with shovels, given the level of digging in they’re doing
Rackelle_H79F1: AB’s been digging in so long we’ll be able to see him coming thru the turf in ENG anytime now! Geoffrey & his mum’d be proud!
@colinfry666: Was AB hospitalised for trench foot
@17thManDiary: AB 5.5 hours 228 balls for 43

@TheFrenchCut: If Nathan Lyon ever has to do kareoke using a stump for a mic it would be fitting for him to sing Carolina Liar’s ‘I’m not over you’

@petercohanlon: #SAvAUS it’s time to start reverse sledging. Only compliments can distract them now
@PaulADennett: Please cite some peer reviewed journal articles based on double blind studies that prove commentators can affect a match

@B_Richardson: if South Africa get a draw out of this I will name my first born Faf
@brendanmills15: If I was building a house I would get the walls made out of Faf du Plessis
@Chrisfallen: You know you’re in control when you jog to the ball as it heads to the fence without cracking even a smirk‏
@MKPS001: Continental Drift is occurring faster than the Proteas run rate
@CamGauder: South Africa have dropped an anchor as big as Shane Watson’s bottom lip in this 4th innings. Neither are moving anywhere fast.

@nikhiltait: Just four good balls. #SAvAUS” or one RPG into the wheelhouse
@Joe_Hildebrand: The South Africans are like the guests who stay on at a dinner party after the hosts have gone to bed

@LiebCricket: I’ve decided I preferred the home portion of the summer when Mitch would scratch his nose and three opposition wickets would fall
@adamzwar: South Africa to be tried for crimes against entertainment
@Rvolkie: SA stuck in tighter than an Alabama tick

@AresMarsFlack: Nathan Lyon looking increasingly like an over-worked glassy in a summer beer garden
@JackWPeden: Nathan Lyons ability to apply sufficient revolutions on the ball to which it travels completely straight is simply incredible

@adamliaw: Instead of bowling at them, let’s just wait for the South African batsmen to die of old age

@JustJimWillDo: Faf falls for forty-sefen. Saffers sefen fer one sefenty free! Free to fall

@wrongunatlongon: Warner’s evolving into the type of sportsmen who belongs to the dastardly Iceland side from Mighty Ducks 2. Such a parody villain
@LloydScroope: The ABC ought to cut commentators. Just leave listeners with the stump mic and the odd score update and we’re set
@QCWelcher: #SAvAUS Live betting odds – South African win: $2501, Draw: $2.35, Australian win: $1.60, Nicholas and Moody kiss: $4

@HeatherFile: Oooooooo things are getting NASSSTYYYYY
@OfficialCSA: Breakthrough for Johnson. Duminy goes for 43. SA 246/8
@AshesCaptCook: Philander looks like he may have half an hour being neither in nor out
@LiebCricket: Warner, as is his right as captain, charges in to demand furious clarification
@chriskkenny: The thumb of god.
@le_huizfreak: Clarke to Steyn : Shut the fuck up !!! Man you’ve got to love Test Cricket #SAvAUS #PureProtea
@amy_cricket: Lehmann looks like he might put his fist through that laptop screen

@TheFrenchCut: This is the part where Rogers reveals that after being bitten by a radioactive motor vehicle, he can now bowl at 160km/h
@ratherbeatlunch: Do you think a Breaker Morant sledge would be lost on James Pattinson?

@Cricketbatcat: Twatto must bowl at the death. I’d be happy with either: a) He gets the final two wickets b) He is responsible for the draw
@mediagag: Guess what?  Bowling full to tail enders still works. Never forget the lessons of the past
@ZAM_Sports: Vernon Philander spent 2 hours and 35 minutes at the crease, the longest time spent by anyone at No. 9 in 4th innings of a Test

@Corpse_in_Pads: Davey Warner says Fluff du Pussy’s pack of dogs comment was “Ruff as a dog’s bark , mate!”

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