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PAKVAUS – First Test in Tweets

Day 1 – Oct 22

@17thManDiary” Is The Big Show too gifted, impetuous & experimental to be Test Captain? Much like Gough, really. ow.ly/D8Wev

@17thManDiary: Wishing @kokeeffe49 presented Steve “Skull2” O’Keefe with his baggy green this morning ow.ly/D968h

@DennisCricket_: Has anyone made the joke about the crowd turning up dressed as chairs yet? No? Good. First one of the season.
@rdhinds: The Human Rights Commission has intervened and insisted Steve Smith bowl to increase the run rate.
#PakvAus

@LiebCricket: Remember when Australia was taking one wicket per over in this Test? They should go back to doing that. #PAKvAUS

@Ye_CriCkeT_Hai : Only 76 more runs and Younis has a hundred against every Test side. Should get there by next week. #PAKvAUS

@17thManDiary: Thought I saw movement on the boundary but it was only a dog talking to a spare seat PAKvAUS

@Dhom_AfriDi: Pakistan’s front-line bowling attack experience: 22 wickets

Australia’s front-line bowling attack experience: 564 wickets
#PakvAus
@LiebCricket: I bet Australia wish they had access to some #SexyRyanHarris here. Or some Maxwell Magic™. Or, hell, the Hayne friggin’ Plane. #PAKvAUS

@17thManDiary: @LiebCricket I assume you mean Jim Maxwell.

@liamthompson1: What’s Ashton Agar do these days? #PAKvAUS
@51allout: Now getting to the point where Clarke will do something stupid just for the hell of it. Our guess is that he’ll give Haddin a bowl #PakvAus

@Adam_CF: The non separation of facial hair between moustache and beard is clearly affecting Mitch Johnson’s performance #PAKvAUS

@Repoman01: If you had that size crowd at @TheAdelaideOval it would still take you most of a session to get served a beer. #PAKvAUS

@TomChadwickFox: Let’s look on the bright side. At least the atmosphere in the UAE is making up for the lack of scoring #PAKvAUS

@AresMarsFlack: With crowds like this, Dubai puts in an impressive bid to host Sheffield Shield games #PAKvAUS #PAKvsAUS

@17thManDiary: At tea, play is slower than a Dickens novel. Warner and Smith to bowl to stumps #PAKvAUS

@TheCricketGeek: Steve Smith bowls the best loopy full toss in world cricket

@parry_stuart: Every kids dream debuting in a stadium that appears to have been purpose built as an Ebola staging area #PAKvAUS

@17thManDiary: Pitch is like a swingers bar. Batsmen only #PAKvAUS

@17thManDiary: It’s so hot even the oil is melting #PAKvAUS
@LukeAus: haddin wears a helmet when keeping at stumps for marsh. if he brings out the riot gear i assume he is doing it for johnson #PAKvAUS

@AresMarsFlack: Good progress that Lyon has gone the buzzcut, a rational man would have called time on his hairline years ago #PAKvAUS #PAKvsAUS

@JakeBurgo: @aidanfawkes you think K-Rudd bores you? try watching this test match… #yawn #PAKvAUS

 

Day 2 – Oct 23

@Jack_Quigley: They say not to judge a pitch until both teams have batted on it, but I’m willing to take the gamble and say that this deck is flat #PAKvAUS

@adsmckie: I don’t often turn cricket off but at this rate #Pakistan will be batting for the 5 days and will make 800 plus some..#PAKvAUS

@17thManDiary: The last time I leaked runs like this was after a big night out #pakvaus

@iamshaunbailey: Pakistani commentators blowing Pakistani batsmen for scoring runs on a dead flat pitch epitomises everything wrong with cricket.#PakvAus

@TitusOReily: I much preferred just belting the living suitcases out of England to be honest. #PAKvAUS

@17thManDiary: Time to watch Air Crash Investigations #PAKvAUS

@KylePollard: Greece has a better economy than Steve Smith #PAKvAUS

@LiebCricket: Pakistan have accelerated their innings to perfection. I estimate they’ll be scoring at 85 runs per over by this time tomorrow. #PAKvAUS

@Alivingston68: O’Keefe is now having a better debut than Simon Kerrigan. #PAKvAUS

@Alivingston68: The longer Pakistan bats, the more sunburnt Chris Rogers gets. #PAKvAUS

@Robfromtaroona: well, bugger me, 2 wickets in a session this pitch is really starting to play up #PAKvAUS

@17thManDiary: Apologies viewers. The footage from the UAE contains images of umpires who are really really fed up #PAKvAUS

@TheCricketGeek: Dave Warner has just broken the record for the most times a batsman has undone and redone the Velcro on his batting gloves in Tests – 3375

 

Tweets Cover 2If you’re enjoying the 17th Man’s Test in Tweets, you’ll love 10 Ashes Tests in Tweets. Available in ebook now  at amazon.com and amazon.co.uk.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 3

@DennisCricket_: Watson has reacted angrily at Hafeez trying to steal his “shit DRS user” status

@ajarrodkimber: Warner is ranked 5th in the ICC rankings, had SA dropped him two or three more times, he’d be number 1.

@warwicktodd_not: Ahh Dools is in. I’m surprised he hasn’t been dropped yet for not being Ricky Ponting

@warwicktodd_not: The Bull with another century. The crowd, totalling three mini buses today, claps their appreciation

@TheCricketGeek: Watching this match on a PTV feed. Far as I can work out the only thing they sell in Pakistan are mobile phones & Pepsi

@Not_Chappelli: I hope the stadium cleaning staff don’t get paid by the hour #PAKvAUS

@AresMarsFlack: No pressure, Steve O’Keefe, but our last debutant spinner scored 98 in his first test. No pressure #PAKvAUS

@RicFinlay: Australia struggling in Tests played between the equator and latitude 29 deg N

 

Day 4

@imranahmadkh: Ahmad Shehzad is doing a triple PhD in batting with Youni bhai on the crease. #YKLegend #PakvAus

@AfterGrogBlog: The Lunch Break show is excellent, despite being a fiasco. Reminds me of Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia. #FineFiasco #PAKvAUS

@ichymochek: Pakistan have played their way into a strong match-fixing position @Strauchanside #PAKvAUS

@LiebCricket: “Bad luck, Chris. Unlucky dismissal. Hey, apropos of nothing, have you ever thought about, I dunno, retiring?” – Phil Hughes. #PAKvAUS

@LiebCricket Rogers: “Mate, when I retire I’ll make way for someone who can play spin… I mean just play. Bad luck.”
Hughes: “Bugger.”
17thManDiary: “Hey boys. What’s happening.”
“We’re getting trashed by a make up bowling unit on a shirtfront in Dubai.”
“Hot”
“250 behind”
#PAKvAUS

@17thManDiary: Where are all the Aussie tweeters? List on the great migration to Syria? Cricket is indeed a fair weather game #PAKvAUS

@theoddbowl: I like that. Pakistan waiting for 2nd, harder new ball to accelerate. #PAKvAUS

@aussiedutchman: The #PAKvAUS game is so goddamn boring i am watching the soccer!

@dashdown85: The prodigal Watto will return to save Australia. #PAKvAUS

@Strauchanside: Brad Haddin should take a leaf out of AB de Villiers book and have a bowl himself #pakvaus

@paulfcb74: Market expecting a funky decleration from Misbah here? #PAKvAUS

@17thManDiary: Shehzad strikes Siddle’s simple stockers fenceward #PAKvAUS

@17thManDiary: “@UberFacts: Dolphins have been known to rescue injured or drowning humans on multiple occasions.” Might save defeat in the UAE? #PAKvAUS

 

Day 5

@gradecricketer: Oh, you’d like a set of throwdowns before your innings? Sure, here’s 15 yorkers & an ‘accidental’ beamer. Hope that gets your eye in, champ.

@17thManDiary: Aussies break new record: Fewest 4’s scored by Australia in an innings of 50+ overs since 1934 #PAKvAUS

@17thManDiary: There is only one man in the world who can help Australia now and knows what it feels like – Alastair Cooke #PAKvAUS
LiebCricket: Reverse swinging yorkers by Pakistan bowlers is sooooo 90s. #PAKvAUS

@Zahidcricket: LUNCH Day 5. Aus 117-7, need 321 runs to win. Pakistan need 3 wickets to win their 4th Test match in 20 years against the Kangaroos #PAKvAUS

@17thManDiary: Swallows leaving England for the winter are tweeting “Bring Back Watson NOW” #PAKvAUS

@51allout: We’re hoping that after each ball Johnson successfully defends, Lehmann punches Doolan in the back of the head. The useless git #PakvAus

@LiebCricket: Pakistan doing their best now to Pakistan this Test. But Australia’s Australianing of it should still prove superior. #PAKvAUS

@51allout: The positives for Australia at this point: O’Keefe is about as much a number 11 as Agar. The negatives; they are completely screwed #PakvAus

@khawajaNNInews: Before this Test, Pakistan won only 2 Test by runs margin v Australia – at Sydney by 74 runs 1995 & in 1979 at Melbourne by 71 runs #PAKvAUS

@Jack_Quigley: It’s now to the point where I’d just be trying to injure the close-in fielders. Take something from the game. #PAKvAUS

@cricinfo_record: Smith-Johnson’ 65-run stand is the 2nd highest 8th wkt stand for Australia in 4th inns of a Test behind Ponting-Warne 76 v Eng 2005 #PAKvAUS

@stustar09: Well if we had 11 Mitchell Johnson’s, we might have a chance of winning! #PAKvAUS

@Drunk_As_Roy: Seriously how spoilt have we been with Punter at #3 for a decade? As good as Pup is he’s soft by avoiding batting there. #PAKvAUS

@AresMarsFlack: Quick note to Mitch Marsh: in Dubai “getting stoned” means something very different #PAKvAUS

@Special_Asim: And this Test goes to final session only due to Pakistan dropping catches #PAKvAUS

@51allout: After flashing bails, the next innovation we would like to see is flashing batting creases #PakvAus

@51allout: We’ll, that’s one Englishman whose finally been able to get one back over Johnson #PAKvAUS

@Jack_Quigley: Not sure why anyone is surprised. Khawaja missed one by a foot last year and was given out on referral. #PAKvAUS

@LiebCricket: Australia need, what, 8 runs an over or so? Need to build a platform for a charge in the death overs. #PAKvAUS
So that was out originally. Pakistan has won the test unofficially. #PAKvAUS

@An_ScorpioN: The most experienced bowler in this pack played just 6 matches, yet they manage to get 20 wickets against Aussies. Wow!
#PakvAus

@sawerapasha: And Pakistan has done it. They have handed a BIG defeat to Australia in Dubai. Pakistan 1 up in series of 2 Test matches. #Cricket #PakvAus

@alisha_shahzadi: Brilliant ! Pakistan players started to pull out the stumps before the referral decision had actually been given 🙂 #PakvAus #Cricket”

@paulsuttor: Mitch Johnson, annual earnings in 7 figures, gets novelty cheque for $500 for fastest ball in Test. Like $5 note in birthday card from Nanna

@AresMarsFlack Oct 26: Brad Hodge’s mum has a clear view why Australia lost to Pakistan #PAKvAUS

 

SECOND TEST IN TWEETS COMING SOON

If you’re enjoying the 17th Man’s Test in Tweets, you’ll love 10 Ashes Tests in Tweets. Available in ebook now  at amazon.com and amazon.co.uk.

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