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The AUSvSA ODI series – Game 1

The Freak (Peter S), The Prof and I watched Game 1 of the AUSvSA ODI series on a big TV at a local pub in Melbourne. I put together a little taste of the twitter feed between the main course and desert. It has it all: bagging the Umpires, bagging Channel 9 [Ed. my sincerest sympathies to all], bagging the pitch doctor, bagging The Captain, bagging the Yarpies and bagging Mr G for trying a SLEDGE. Did I mention bagging the Central Commentary team – one excellent contribution was retweeted 46 times!

There were more de Kock jokes than SIXES.

Only Tatts (someone’s “little pony”), Faf and ABdeV (still the best) survived unscathed and lauded to heaven.

We won, but catches win matches and SA dropped plenty. The game was fairly even then, as the three of us expect.

I’ve added some context from other events around the world at the start just to spice up the World Cup form guide. Enjoy.


@KKRiders: Imran Khan puts an end to the Kiwi misery, taking Pakistan to victory; win by 248 runs. #PakvNZ

@ITVSport: Rohit Sharma hits new one-day international batting record – he’s currently 258 not out!
@anujsharmasport: In the flurry of records,let’s not forget a unique one made by #Rohit. He faced 173 balls, highest by any player in a 50-over ODI
@BBCNewsEnts: Italian artist Sven Sacsalber will spend the next two days hunting for a needle in a haystack
@17thManDiary: GUARDIAN: KP reveals plans to protect his historic sites around the world. “Yeh, you know, my book was a personal tribute. I’m fine with it”

@warwicktodd_not: With an inability to throw his wicket away at a crucial moment in the match, Devereux has been overlooked for the first ODI
@FOXCricketLive: South Africa captain AB de Villiers has won the toss and chosen to BOWL FIRST
@DennisCricket_: I have a radical idea. Australia should select players who are in form

@InnoBystander: Its a bloody disgrace, if Aussies werent one of the big 3 this doctored pitch would get a sanction…
@woolywoofter20: @InnoBystander your floggin the poor horse’s skeleton at this stage
@InnoBystander: . @woolywoofter20 playing on a horses skeleton would give a fairer wicket than this doctored deck…

@HomeCricInfo: News: Brad Haddin ruled out of the remaining South Africa ODIs. Micheal Clarke injures his hamstring once again
@Davis_Harr: “Pup” ain’t a pup no more, he’s an old dog
@NotBradHaddin: Clarke injured…or as they call him…Watto II
@thesilverdory: Clarke and Watto in same team … Would have been more surprised if one of them HADN’T broken down with a leg injury

@OfficialCSA: A Faf-tastic catch to finally end Bailey’s innings on a well-played 70. AUS 236/6 (43.2 ovs). Maxwell in
@Cricketbatcat: Bailey was dropped 5 times? That’s not luck. That’s dark magic

@17thManDiary: ‘MAXI Maxi for ever’ glee club storms dressing room in anticipation of a fast inning
@PatrickLane19: I wonder if a Test No.3 has ever batted 8 in a one day game

@CamGrumpy: Love Aussie commentary – so one eyed it makes a debate with Isil seem quite balanced!

@AfterGrogBlog: Show B. is obscenely talented. Time will tell if his brain is similarly qualified
@ShootersXI: Of all the bonehead shots Glenn Maxwell has played, that was a complete calcified cortex! #reversesweepphilander

@CricketAus: OUT! Wade picks out the sub-fielder Rossouw in the deep and he’s gone for 35. Philander has four. Australia 7-256 (45.4)
@bettiwettiwoo: My Little Tattooed Pony comes to crease. Has he adopted a danshingly Cuttingesque angle on his helmet? Close-up, please!

@InnoBystander: Dont the Aussies have to stop the ODI now to show the news?
@SimUKCricket: @InnoBystander the best is when they do that and tell you the cricket score in the news segment

@Not_Inverarity: Plenty of criticism for Glenn Maxwell but between him and Johnson they have an Allan Border Medal and a ICC Player of the Year Award
@LiebCricket: We are at Full Maxwell. Repeat, Full Maxwell #Maxwellball
@Jamstera: I think James Brayshaw wants to have Glenn Maxwell’s children….or try at least
@TheHalfTimeTalk: Glen Maxwell is to cricket what Ebola is to humanity- horrible, nasty, ugly to watch but sadly,quite brutal
@amy_cricket: I find Maxwell fascinating. Like a rabbit on speed

@njhcricket: Imagine most of India is bored rigid by this ODI?
@Not_Chappelli: For everyone enjoying this live standard definition telecast take comfort in the knowledge that Zimbabwe watch their cricket in HD
@bettiwettiwoo: How is that NOT a no-ball? The heal was ON the line? Anyway, Maximillion is NOT a cat. He’s gone. 8-276

@AfterGrogBlog: How the he’ll does a sky ball land between the fielder and the boundary when the fielder is on the boundary at deep mid wicket?

@WaheedVadi: Loses the ball in the sun, but the sunglasses are on the hat and not the eyes. #TahirLogic
@InnoBystander: Just need the Benny Hill music now and you have the perfect montage over all these drops…

@rickeyrecricket: They won’t get 301
@17thManDiary: Scored 300 in 50. About as much as we normally do in an away test in the UAE in the first dig. And about as fast #AUSvSA

@CorbinMiddlemas: The highest successful run chase in the previous 71 ODIs at the WACA Ground is 274/9 by Pakistan vs. Australia, January 1987

South African Innings

@17thManDiary: What’s on? Nothin. A run a ball, de Kock, and de Doctor

@That_Jeff_Guy: Was that a SLEDGE from George Bailey or did someone let rip! #poo
@panda2349: Dave Warner upon de Kock facing Hazelwood “It’s a bit smelly here” – Quality Dave, really good from you
@jessicalouiseTT: Cricket and popping candy. What more does a girl need?

@FakeRyanHarris: Might put de kock in my lawn mower.. It only takes 2 stroke…
@Bombers83: Poor de Kock… Got a stiff delivery that was ballsy
@smooth_silver: Twitter doesn’t seem to understand when enough is enough with the #DeKockJokes
@Nette8Two: De Kok, Behardien, Du Plessis. South African batting line up sounds more like a European adult film

@17thManDiary: Joy for Johnson. UAE never happened
@BF_CJed: Glenn Maxwell reckons that was a ridiculous shot

@17thManDiary: Faf breaks out the salt ring and tells Warner to shut up
@MrFridgeMurphy: Can Faf please head down to Bunnings and get some colour samples to sort his fucking pads out

@FakeRyanHarris: Amla cutting finer than the the coke He was snorting with Ben Cousins last night!

@NotMitchJohnson: @FakeRyanHarris Tired of bowling alone mate
@FakeRyanHarris: @NotMitchJohnson I dont even know these blokes from the other end.. Are they Mark Waugh’s love children from NSW?

@stustar09: Finch swallows the catch like it was a meat pie
@ethan_meldrum: First time Amla’s made less than 10 in an ODI in almost a year
@Geo_Ev: Remembering my intense, burning hatred for Mitchell Johnson. At least it’s not England he’s destroying this time, superb bowler

@Cookstar118: Zzz looks like it’s channel 9 Mitchell Johnson suck off time again

@justus_beets: Australians don’t call Du Plessis by his name,they call him “He who we do not speak of” or “He who resembles walls”

@LiebCricket: Coulter-Nile and Finch combine to cost Australia the game by bringing de Villiers to the crease

@InnoBystander: No rain in Perth since the land was owned by Aboriginals – yet its like a verdent meadow…. #Doctored
@cdjp_rr9: @InnoBystander no rain in dubai since the skyscrapers went up…yet their outfields are nice and green. #sprinkler. what’s the problem?

@Bienie: Cricket needs free-agency, and Australia needs to use the mining boom to purchase A. B. De Villiers

@saintblues: Clarke’s interview with channel 9 lasted longer than his last 5 innings
@DoctorFiveball: Has anyone started a Micheal Clarke’s hamstring parody account yet? Asking for a friend

@Cricketbatcat: Mr10: “Getting AB de Villiers’ wicket is like catching the golden snitch”

@whamzam17: No, no, no, no. A finisher doesn’t leave meat on the bone. Good knock by David Miller, but left the door ajar here
@Rewster7: That wicket was softer than my pillow

@Adam_CF: ABdV should sue the ICC because they can’t find a bowler that can get him out. The helmet has worn in a bald patch on his head

@brydoncoverdale: There’s no Richie, no Tony and no Bill, but at least Daddles the Duck is in Perth to remind me of Channel 9 cricket in the 80s

@LateMailMan: I really miss seeing Billy Bowden’s gnarled, bent dismissal finger. #saidnooneever
@SpinnerGrace: Tell you what, I would have loved to hear the umpire comms on the Khawaja dismissal in the England Ashes
@DoctorFiveball: I don’t reckon this umpire will be buying this game on DVD just quietly

@Cricketbatcat: The best thing about the voice of the 3rd umpire is that the Channel 9 commentators shut up for several blessed minutes at a time (46 retweets, 49 favourites)

@ShortFirstSlip: Morkel and Tahir are playing the short ball like it’s a walk in the park. Suresh Raina watches on intently, diligently taking notes
@17thManDiary: Devereux wins the game for Aust, and he’s not even in the team!
@nikhiltait: Glenn Maxwell jersey number 32, concedes 32 runs and takes the final wicket to give @CricketAus a 32-run win

@ICC: “We held our catches which is really important” – G. Bailey

@Nicks103: SA 268/10. Lose by 32 runs. Consolation: Unlike Lankans, they managed to beat #RohitSharma

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