I was at home glued to the TV set for a while with Dad. He hates it when we lose and our top 6 add nothing to the spectacle of the game except for a few ‘dud’ calls from the Third Umpire. I swear he is worse than Bradshaw and Heals for one-eyed analysis of the game.
This game was out of reach by over 25. The Yarp’s Tuna Morne picked us off easily. Dad said it was like fishing in a salmon farm. Any old fool of a fish will bite. Even MAXI who he loves to death. When he bats he shuts up and prays. He turns off the sound, and listens to Jim Maxwell on the ABC. If things are really bad he goes out to see the dog. The dog is pretty smart these days. He scarpers when he sees him coming. That just annoys Dad even more.
Junior Junior Marsh, or Swampy III, did okay after he deflected one right onto his nuts and then hit a SIX. But that was it. At the change of ends the game was dead. All out 150 something. By then, Dad was in his prime. I had to close the door to the lounge where my mum and Thea were holding their weekly book club. I don’t think they were reviewing Hunter S Thompson’s finest works.
By the way Dad and most of Australia (but only 1/20 of Perth) think Hazelwood is ok. That’s what he thought about NCN until AB and Miller took him apart. As one experiment starts another ends.
Dad’s last contribution was “where the f… were the crowds anyway. At least when we get thrashed they should be throwing tomatoes..”
1-1. On to Game 3 in Manuka, Canberra.
@nqcowboys99: Probably better things to do on a hot Sunday, but I can’t think of any right now… #cricket
@Mattys123: Morne all over Warner early on, good bowling
@kilkenny_d: Hot spot for that? Kidding. It’s nearly taken his fingers off
@ahleach: Nigel Llong just getting some revenge for the other night by transferring the humiliation to his fellow umpire
@geoffadams81: The reason they don’t mic up the director in the production truck is the same reason why they shouldn’t mic up the 3rd umpire
@NotMarkNicholas: Vladimir Putin will be giving a surprise masterclass during the tea break
@_allywhite: I would personally find the Fremantle Doctor more exciting if it was actually a doctor from Fremantle and not some wind channel
@Nathanielmik: “Shane watson is one of the best players off his pads in world cricket.” – James Brayshaw #ComicGenius
@eld2_0: Aaron Finch: *hits along carpet* *hits along carpet* ‘Wow! There’s a dog with a fluffy tail!’ *spoons to cover*
@michael_smith9: Is that a free carton of beer for Finch?
@eld2_0: Aaron Finch has been demoted to the role of the guy who bazookas promotional t-shirts in to the crowd
@GPR03: I’d pay money to have the Benson & Hedges ads back over this intolerable shit that we’re subjected to every summer
@justus_beets: Both batsmen from middle earth dismissed quickly. Aussies doing a very sexy role reversal from the previous game
@bferris1703: Just me or is the entire South African cricket team like Dolph Lundgren in #RockyIV?
@DennisCricket_: ‘Hi guys. We heard you are looking for some decent batsmen? ‘
@justus_beets: Behardien used to be the headless horseman in Sleeply Hollow. Now he’s a spray on hair commercial from the early 90s
@51allout: Good thing Shirley put all that work in during the off season about getting his stupid front foot out of the way. Worked wonders
@thedannygilbert: WARNING! Shane Watson’s hamstring very close to snapping and taking out anyone within 100km of it. Find safety if you can
@Herbie_planeguy: Is Miller the Lost love child of Jonty Rhodes?
@InnoBystander: Pigs can’t fly….but can walk back to the pavillion…
@Adam_CF: With the way Smith was dismissed he could definitely be Captain
@ryanrusty3: @innobystander they’re making Morne Morkel look like Curtley Ambrose
@FirstDropBeth: I see Steyn is wearing a stocking to cover his tat sleeve
@Corpse_in_Pads: #BillsPoll Will the Big Show’s appearance today be like paying for a stripper only to find she’s wearing 8 pairs of panties?
@DoctorFiveball: How come I’ve suddenly got the audio of the cooking channel with this game? #CarrotCake
@SimplySean_: Channel 9 commentators laying down the trash talk on a possible cake-off between them. Surely a sign that we got ’em where we want ’em
@LiebCricket: No need to panic. If Australia somehow scramble to 220 and dismiss Amla, de Kock, Faf and AB cheaply then it’s game on
@ClickCollins: You’re out of control Wade! You may as tear Mitch’s hammy out & break the stumps with them, calling for singles like that!
@SpinnerGrace: Flicked on the commentary for a minute. Got a sharp pain behind my left eye. Turned it off again. All better#ChannelNineNonsense
@AfterGrogBlog: Film from the bar at the WACA and there are NO drunken miners fighting. #UnWestAustralian
@TitusOReily: Hearing the umpires do a review is like watching your parents use a remote control. You just want to grab it off them
@Cal___:10 minute review!! Seriously? Makes me glad I’m watching #V8SC rather than #AUSvSA
@ShortFirstSlip: Wade’s not happy. Someone board up the windows, quick-sharp!
@EddieWilliams13: Obviously the #G20 didn’t get around to fixing the DRS
@ChristianDAloia: Well that wasn’t a Big Show at all…
@NaimHFC1: I think Maxwell has more bad games then he has good games
@welchy05: What else is on TV tonight?
@TitoPerez89: #AUSvSA The 3rd umpire took longer to make a non-decision than it took me to make my tax return !!!!
@BeingCricketFan: Someone tell Aussies they are in Australia not in UAE
@InnoBystander: Lowest score defended in an ODI at the WACA is 162 by India v NZ in 1980…
@BeingCricketFan: Australia’s lone fighter. Fifty for Mitchell Marsh
@JustJimWillDo: Inside edge fair into the Jatz crackers! It’s always funny when someone cops one in the nuts!
@iancwhitney: Going to be very arousing to watch the commentary over Mitch Marsh get increasingly homoerotic over summer
@DennisCricket_: When Steyn bowls at 112kph, he is deadly
@FOXCricketLive: GONE! Marsh (67) caught at short fine leg by Morkel off Steyn’s bowling. Aussies dismissed for 154
@andrew_54: They could’ve fitted in a whole T20 in this change of inning break
@51allout: Channel Nine are now using 8 hour innings breaks to allow everyone to catch up with the excitement of Season 7149 of The Block
South African Innings
@justus_beets: If I was Captain,I would send in Morkel and Tahir to open. Just to mock Australia a bit
@armchairfooty: I give South Africa a sneaky chance here
@andrew_54: Good leap by Watto to take that catch, and frankly a minor miracle he didn’t pull a muscle doing it
@ahleach: Johnson’s inside Amla’s head
@AresMarsFlack: If Amla keeps playing shots like that, Davey Warner is going to stop defending him
@SpinnerGrace: With that misfield, Maxwell moves to -1 runs
@leaseM_87: Apparently Coulter-Nile wants an early night
@crowdiegal: Tip to Cricket Australia: at time when people are watching what they spend, it’s best not to overcharge for a couple of ODIs
@LiebCricket: Coulter-Nile’s stubborn refusal to develop a late-swinging delivery that straightens into the line of the stumps his undoing there
@ferrari_jt: SA having a field day with the review system, they can’t get one wrong!
@crowdiegal: #AUSvSA Must say not looking forward to the #AUSvIND test series with no DRS…
@bowlologist: I think Sth African bat Riley Rossouw has downloaded the “Bat like Brian Lara app” from iTunes He’s 24 off 14 #Classy #SmokingThem
@17thManDiary: Poor WACA crowd blamed on lack of English migrants arriving by boat
@AfterGrogBlog: Sorry, Cricket. You can’t compete with Ancient Rome
@crushtor: If these worm figures are to be believed, South Africa will win the Vic State election in a landslide
@DennisCricket_: If a spinner wants to get back into form, what better place to do it than the WACA?
@bettiwettiwoo: #DEVEREUX! … … and, yeah, OK, Maximillion. A little. 3-62
@JustJimWillDo: Cunningly, AB de V is playing from the crease of the pitch next to the match pitch!
@danranson_: I wonder if de Villiers will ever get bored of being brilliant at cricket & try something else. Like landing a spaceship on a comet
@stuart_maurice: Faf out? Is that possible?
@bettiwettiwoo: Awwww, didn’t Hazlewood just look so cute when they all ran up and patted him all over?!
@mistercricket_: Hazelwood gets two in a row. Meanwhile, Mark Nicholas jizzes in his pants
@Khaya_EM: Australian commentators so desperate for a result that they are creating scenarios where Australia can win this game
@John___Lemon: Mitch Johnson getting more bounce than a Nathan Tinkler chequebook right now
@Not_Chappelli: Australia has successfully forced South Africa past the mark where Nine could fit an extra Big Bang Theory repeat in #positives
@PlungePunter: Even if Hansie Cronje was captain of SA they still couldn’t lose it from here!
@chrissmithradio: Theres a lot of McGrath in Hazelwood
@ShootersXI: Hazelwood on a hat-trick for the 2nd time in this match
@Davis_Harr: Josh Hazlewood v South Africa
@churchysfan: Damn Miller is going to ruin it for us
@Davis_Harr: Hahaha Dale just gives Hazlewood “the stare” and whacks him for a boundary. All over
@51allout: South Africa stumble home. After some debate we’ve decided to award the Scapegoat of the Match award to Shane Watson. Well deserved
@SimplySean_: Bafana Bafana, the Springboks and the Proteas win on the same weekend. I thought that only happened in Castle Lager ads