Monday, April 6, 2020
Home » Aus v SA ODI Series Nov 2014 » AUSVSA ODI Series – Game 5

AUSVSA ODI Series – Game 5

Shit it was hot. So hot that slinking off to the SCG to pay through the gullet for an undercover seat just to watch de Kock get a ton on a flat wicket in a dead rubber was a waste of money. The beach was a better option. At least there you can select your own beer.  The game had its highs. Smithy gave Rossouw a big ‘how’s your father’ only to find that his nemesis was NOT BLOODY OUT. I’ve never seen an embarrassed PIG, but Smithy looks good in the headlights when his tongue not his bat has led him astray, just like a future Captain. De Kock scored a ton and Behardien hit a six in front of the wicket.

The game also had its lows, or comedy. Watson scored a lot of ‘junk runs’. And the man with more option value than a swaps trader, MAXI, went big trying to hit the ball to the moon when all he had to do was play safe, and stuffed it, again. 7 out. He was back in the pavilion when he was blamed for sparking a MAXICAN collapse where we lost 4 quick wickets to another spinner.  Anyway Piggy muddled through for another 50… Did I mention the streaker?

Best tweets of the day? They are all funny. Choose your own!

I liked these two:
@InnoBystander: Looks like they have killed the streaker and are burying him at deep extra cover…
@TitusOReily: Last time I saw something collapse this quickly it was Essendon’s Federal Court case


@51allout: It’s too bloody hot for this. Can’t they just name #Devereux Player of the Series now and go to the beach instead?
@Former_legend: I think it’s rough of Channel 9 to mike up Ian Healey while he’s sitting at a bar by himself off chops watching the cricket
@sportsbetcomau: No AB De Villiers for South Africa today. Apparently he’s off recording another album in between trying out for the NBA
@CharlesRammsey: There’s the Starc we all know…wide
@eld2_0: I rate the intimidating seediness that Mitch Starc’s grubby goatee brings to the game

@DennisCricket_: I am genuinely shitty every time Maxwell gets selected for any Australian side that isn’t the T20 team
@InnoBystander: Will be more fans at Chittagong for the ODI between Bangladesh & Zimbabwe than at the SCG today…dwell on that…
@bettiwettiwoo: Starc’s ‘tache is making him look like a 1930s movie villain. The one w the flashy car; pinstriped suits; & honeyed, forked tongue
@BigBashBoard: Any danger in the channel 9 commentators actually talking about cricket?
@whereyabean: @BigBashBoard not much, they are sticking to their strengths and cricket commentary isn’t one of them
@roofromoz: It’s not so much the poll on what Tubby should wear, rather it’s those using valuable bandwidth to actually vote in it

@CreepsOfLS: Amla has become Australia’s bitch
@SubtleKnife00: I hate it how the commentators launch into a discussion on the Discourse on the Origin of Inequality whenever Rousseau plays

@laurenetrim: Oh for shit sake – back on patting the little women on the arse for baking for the boys…
@eld2_0: Watto is so agile and graceful. Like a paralysed lobster
@AltCricket: If Channel 9 are going to keep selling us random memorabilia, I want a Glenn Maxwell tea-cosy and a Pete Siddle BBQ grill

@an_usa_bar: When will rilee rossouw be more famous than Robinson Crusoe
@DennisCricket_: Australia bowling like their attack is Tahir, Maxwell, Dernbach, Mick Lewis and James Anderson

@DennisCricket_: Steve Smith with the big ‘EFF OFF” That’s how future Australian captains should behave
@MKPS001: If only Rossouw had responded with “you fuck off” back

@DoctorFiveball: Twatto’s paleo diet is clearly a winner #pseudoscience
@mongrel4oh7oh: With that moustache, Matthew Wade wouldn’t look out of place on the set of NYPD blue in the 80s
@nqobzasheen: Lol this is why we lost the series. Guys having brain farts at crucial time. WTF was that by Russouw?

@bettiwettiwoo: And the players dash off the field. Hello Duckworth-Lewis, my old friends

@cricbuzz: DeKock is the first @OfficialCSA player to record a ODI century at the @scg
@bettiwettiwoo: QdK is walking! Well, that is very, very good sportsmanship b/c v unclear whether ump would have given that feather out!

@KhilenN: Congrates to Bahardien on his 1st boundary in front of square
@SimUKCricket: Behardien fitness being tested, he has never batted for this long before
@DennisCricket_: David Warner told his Psychiatrist that he’s hearing voices.He told him that he didn’t have a Psychiatrist
@Corpse_in_Pads: I’ve heard less references to injuries and body parts in a full series of ER
@CricketTalkback: Behardien with the shot of the season so far! He just went over cover sending it 10 rows back over the fence into the Bill O’Reilly stand

@LiebCricket: AB de Villiers will struggle to regain his spot. Back to first class cricket for him. Score runs there and wait for another chance

@Corpse_in_Pads: And now Ch9 will take a half-hour break to bring you the News and tell you about things that have nothing to do with your life
@crowdiegal: You know there has been nothing going on in the game when Ian Healy is trying to squeak his prosthetic knuckle

@nikhiltait: Pretty challenging total. Shane Watson ton as it’s a dead rubber?
@adamspjones: @TitusOReily I defy anyone to find a better dead rubber specialist in world cricket than Shane Watson.Elite #AUSvSA
@spankee: Twatto, the Junk Run specialist.  #AUSvSA

@rinchinator: Did the people who put the scores and stats up at the bottom of the screen go home?

@crowdiegal: #Ausvsa The man responsible for the 11th commandment is at the crease…

@iancwhitney: What happened to Mitch Marsh? I miss the budding homoeroticism from the commentary box 🙁
@justus_beets: Who streaks at a dead rubber game? Have you no class sir?!
@17thManDiary: The streaker feared for his life, escaping from tipsy Keith Miller impersonators
@InnoBystander: Looks like they have killed the streaker and are burying him at deep extra cover…

@LiebCricket: Why not charge everybody $5500 to get in and then refund those who didn’t streak at the end of the match. Simple
@justus_beets: What’s even worse is that $5500 doesn’t go to a hitman to take out Michael Slater
@WayneSwan: I thought I had Ebola but it was just Ian Healy making my ears bleed

@Former_legend: Watto gets a fifty! Coincidentally that’s the number of different twangs his hamstring makes
@TodClarey: that KFC add with the stylish family eating crap and watching cricket?? it’s not happening #falseadvertising

@AresMarsFlack: One day Steve Smith is going to fidget his nuts clean off
@DennisCricket_: Abbott reminds me of Andre Nel, except I suspect he doesn’t cheat on his wife while on tour
@BrandonMcKay6: After De Kock walked I’m surprised Smith didn’t with the game heavily in our favour…

@dhedges75: If brains were dynamite, Maxwell wouldn’t have enough to blow his head off his shoulders!!! Bye Bye World Cup #goose
@erin_tank: Maxwell needs to be sent to his room to think about what he’s done this summer & can’t come out until he can say what he did wrong
@GrumpyPigeon: Tonight’s streaker showing more guts & determination than Maxwell #NoShow

@RealBatguy: Carlton mid: you’ll drink it because you don’t have any other choice at the cricket
@LiebCricket: I miss last year when Bailey’s ODI form basically meant the selectors had no choice but to give him a Test spot

@melindafarrell: I think I’d almost pay an entrance fee to watch a Faf fielding training session
@TitusOReily: Last time I saw something collapse this quickly it was Essendon’s Federal Court case
@51allout: We would suggest that Australia are choking, but this is pretty much how they always bat. Even in Tests. Especially in Tests
@stormchaser182: The ‘Big Show’ can take a bow for this. Seen ants carrying sticks in the yard better than him

@diogenesbrown: Any bookmakers from the subcontinent seen around the SCG tonight?

@sportsbetcomau: Thank Faulkner for that
@LogicalBakwaas: Aussies tried hard to choke. But SA proved they are still the king

@CricketTalkback: STAT: Only two teams have ever lost an ODI at @scg after reaching 1/125 batting first

Now there are three.

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