We celebrated long and hard after regaining the Trophy at the end of the match, and so in some ways the official unofficial team awards night was a bit of an anti-climax this time around. Still, it’s a little but of fun and another night out with the lads before we disperse the helter-skelter of the Big Bash and/or preparing for the World Cup. Or going home to watch the others pile up the match fees.
Someone decided that we should have a harbour cruise, quite appropriate for Sydney. That’s all fine as far as the view goes but there was no leaving early or going out on the sly to find some full strength beer.
Here’s what I can remember.
The Shimano Tackle Adjustment Award: New Captain Trapper and his chaffing are going to hold this award for ever.
The Fidget Sisters Award for Annoying Partnerships. Puff and Trapper. They don’t often bat together, but when they do, there is more action between balls than in an entire season of County Cricket.
The “Imodium” Award for the Most Runs: Trapper got this one in a canter.
The Nearly Made it Award: Junior Marsh for his 99. UnLucky, who scored a 95, was unlucky not to win this one.
The Mr Consistency Award: UnLucky, for his brace of solid 50s. It was a relief that Hollywood didn’t win this for consistently averaging less than everyone who batted at 8, 9 and 10. Although he did.
“I Made it to the End” Award: The Natural’s knees. While he had a rest in the middle of the series, somehow he managed to trundle that magnificent wardrobe of a physique up to the crease time after time – but it was not quite enough to get us over the line in the last test.
Most Wickets: The only front line bowler to play all four tests was Plopper, and he wrapped up this award by a healthy margin, although his average of over 34 wasn’t as impressive.
Best Average: Mantis was the only bowler to average under 30, and then only just. Taking wickets on these roads was not easy.
The Golden Glove Award: Wicky is the sole contestant for this, so why do we bother? He gloved 21 in a flawless display.
The Arachnophobia Catching Award. Trapper was not so pleased with this getting one, after dropping a vital catch in the last test in the shadow of SpiderCam.
The Ball Magnet Award: The Freak, for not being required to take one catch during the series for the third series in a row! Sure, he only played in one Test, but still, maybe there’s something about the bananas.
The Hamstrung Award: There were a few applicants for this one, but Junior Junior Marsh got to hobble up and accept his award on behalf of those sporting dodgy hammies everywhere.
The Trying To Show Us Up Award: NZ, for beating Pakistan in UAE after we got beaten there.
The Road Builders’ Golden Shovel Award: This was awarded jointly to the four curators who managed to produce the flattest set of pitches played on in Australia for many years.
The Coach’s Award: There was no arguing with the Coach’s choice here – Trapper will need to buy another bookcase to house tonight’s trophies.
We piled off the boat at 11 pm at the Man O’ War steps in the shadow of the Opera House. The Prof had volunteered to organise post-event transport, so there was none of the usual “Team Bus” action. A fleet of limo’s were there waiting for us.
“That’s generous of you,” I said as we slipped into the last of the sleek black machines.
“Not really. The limo business is tough and I negotiated a bulk deal. You’ll be seeing a lot of these guys during The World Cup.”
The Prof opened the little bar fridge. There was no beer.
“We’ll have to fix that up, though,” he said as we headed back to the hotel for the last time.