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Mar 2 – England V Sri Lanka on Twitter

Here’s an unrepresentative and random selection of the twitter feed from the England V Sri Lanka match on Sunday.

England supporters should only read while appropriately restrained.


England Batted

@LiebCricket: Next World Cup I’d quite like England to select an a capella group as their squad and just crush the anthem singing thing.#ENGvSL #CWC15

@AllOutCricket: England have started aggressively and well, 38-0 from four overs. Also, Duran Duran like Lasith Malinga. #CWC15

@thefulltoss: England on course for 450 here. Somehow I think 150 is more likely though #CWC15

@ZaltzCricket: Bell 31 off 23. 6 fours, 2 drops, one other half-chance missed. All action from The Sledgehammer Of Eternal Justice.

@ZaltzCricket: Moeen spoons Mathews limply to mid off. 62-1. He hit that as sweetly as an unripe lemon.

@TheCricketGeek: This strategy of England picking out of form batsmen is funny but you have to think it won’t lead to many wins.

@ZaltzCricket: Bell out after a curate’s omelette of an innings. 35 off 24 with 7 fours. Then 14 off 29 with 0 fours. Then plays on. Eng 101-3 in 21st.

@cwjreynolds: Has any other commentary duo had more mobile phone mishaps than Botham and Warne?

@legsidelizzy: Textbook wicket loss just before the powerplay.

@ZaltzCricket: Morgan rebuilds carefully. He’s primed to cut loose. He cuts to cover instead. Out for 27 off 47. 161-4 in the 35th.

@TheCricketGeek: Six of the last seven England hundreds in ODIs have come in losing causes

@TheCricketGeek: Everyone seems to have forgotten Moeen’s ton in a win in the last game!

@legsidelizzy: There is so much to like about so many of England’s players. Real talent, real ability. Jury remains out on the management

@GregBaum: England 0/54 off the last five. Sri Lanka letting them off the hook. #CWC15

@NHoultCricket: England pass 300 in successive ODIs for the first time since 2011 World Cup. (they lost the 2nd game v Ire)

@17thManDiary: England reach the Druids number and reach for the cider #EngvSL

@AllOutCricket: Good start, consolidation + big finish. 309-6. Eng will be very happy, plans executed. Can they back it up with the ball? #CWC15

@_TheTonk: Worst. Review. Ever. #WorldCup#CWC2015 Sri Lanka makes woeful lbw review call against England

@17thManDiary: MAXI: “Lakmal gets the ICC innovators prize for CWC15. I’ve done my best but I give up” #EngvSL

The Sri Lanka had a go. Well, three of them anyway . . .

@17thManDiary: Dare England hope while the nation sleeps? Only the dead will sleep fitfully. The game is barely half won in Wellington #EngvSL

@17thManDiary: England innovation has been all downhill since the steam engine. Missing: fool proof method of slip catching #ENGvSL

@DennisCricket_: It’s times like this that England wish they had selected Jade Dernback #ENGvSL

@ZaltzCricket: Body language suggests England wouldn’t fancy themselves to defend 380 against the Vatican.

@17thManDiary: Downton: I told you the batting order was wrong

Moores: We agreed to pull it from a hat
D: And we agreed no bouncers
M: Hmmm…

@DennisCricket_: Sangakkara has the highest ODI average for any batsman with a double ‘k’ in their name.

#CricketBelieveItOrNot #ENGvSL

@17thManDiary: This is a problem for England. Sangakarra batting at both ends.#ENGvSL

@DennisCricket_: In a surprise tweet, @piersmorgan says that @KP24 would make this English team better. #cwc15 #ENGvSL

@17thManDiary: Downton: Moores, what’s going on in Wellington?

M: We’re playing the All Blacks
D: Are you sure?
M: Yup
D: I can sell that

@17thManDiary: Is it time to mention KP yet? He said he can bowl #ENGvSL

@DennisCricket_: Taylor’s tiny little boy hands unable to grasp hold of the beach ball

@17thManDiary: It gets worse Thirimmana and Sangakarra batting at both ends.

Bring down the shades and pull up the covers

@17thManDiary: Downton: Moores, Moores wake up, wake up

Moores: I am awake
Downton: I thought you were dreaming
Moores: (sarcastically) I was

@17thManDiary: England cricket greats gathering at Stonehenge for a late night drinking party. ECB not invited #ENGvSL

@17thManDiary: Morgan thinking about channeling Marcel Marceau in his post match interview. The less he says the better#ENGvSL

@17thManDiary: ICC meeting to reconsider England’s absence from quarter finals. AUS, NZ, and SA thinking of inviting SL into a 4 way WC competition #ENGvSL

@17thManDiary: Twitter is no longer fit For English supporters. They have gone stark raving mad #ENGvSL

@17thManDiary: There were two tired Sri Lankan batsmen on the field and 11 Blue statues #ENGvSL

@GregBaum: England for once grateful for the existence of Scotland. Otherwise they’d still be winless in #cwc2015

@17thManDiary: It’s a difficult time for everyone involved. Please respect the ECB’s privacy and direct all queries to Waitrose, our giving sponsor #ENGvSL

@bhogleharsha: It must be boring being no 4 or 5 in the Sri Lankan team.! #EngvsSL #cwc15

@17thManDiary: People often overlook the simple solutions when discussing English international cricket #ENGvSL

@NHoultCricket: Wretched defeat for England leaves them clinging on in World Cup

@TheCricketGeek: England didn’t get past the first round in 1999, but this feels worse. Am I forgetting how bad 1999 was? We have good players now!

@ZaltzCrickeT: Superb batting by SL. England’s bowling should be bagged, labelled, and taken away for examination in a lab. I have no idea what it was.

@ZaltzCrickeT: BREAKING: ECB announce whole England squad to undergo unaesthetised root canal surgery on their day off tomorrow, to try to lighten the mood

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