Sunday, January 26, 2020
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June 29 – The Only Way is Essex

We wound up the Kent match in style and a big win, although there was a hint of bad feeling towards Trapper as he bagged three wickets – can’t he leave the poles to the bowlers?

The tour bus was adorned with “The Only Way is Essex” today for the trip to Chelmsford. Although we were only on the road for an hour and a bit, it was long enough for the lads to get bored and start looking around for something to amuse them. The old timers tell stories of sinking a tinny for every ten miles travelled [Ed. By land – the air-miles equation was slightly less punishing] but that’s all in the past now. It’s protein snacks and bottled water being handed around now, and there’s no fun in that.

Puff has been posting pictures of his new bats on Facebook [Ed. he had to get someone else to take the photo using the panorama feature on his iphone – the bats are monsters] so it only seemed right to set him up. The Freak arranged for the team’s bat technician to make up a mock version of the said bat and break it for us.  All he had to do was leave the broken blade lying around in the bus to be found by Sarah (Head of Marketing) during her regular “clean up the bus” patrols.

“Who’s left dis brok’n ba’ ‘ere, ven?” she squawked. “That’s not work safe, ‘n all.”

Puff didn’t even look up – he was too busy watching a new video highlights package on his ipad : “Great Sixes by Aussie Openers.” No prizes for guessing who features heavily, and it’s certainly not Tubby Taylor. With the prank a complete failure, we left Sarah to give the bat to Darren (team psychologist) who managed to get a massive splinter in his hand. He ended up with his arm bandaged up to his elbow as a precaution against him helping out at training.

Coach2.0 had us straight to the training ground for a run that started light but ended up with everyone in a sweat. He never lets up, and there will be no messing about in the game starting day after tomorrow – test places are up for grabs.


 © 2013 Dave Cornford & Jeremy Pooley

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