The Prof, The Freak and I enjoyed one last Cardiff hot buffet breakfast, which has been particularly good. The Freak has been maxing out of fried mushrooms and various potato dishes, while we only paused for thought briefly as we downed a side of bacon.
When we finally made it onto the team bus, The Prof got to work on a short media statement to relieve the media pressure at home. Sarah had drafted 4 pages but The Prof summarised it in three short sentences:
“We are reviewing our records of the swinging ball to understand how to play it. We hope to have it worked out soon. We regret any temporary inconvenience.”
He sent it off from his iPad as we passed through Swindon.
Dad telephoned while we were in transit to remind me what it means to play for Australia. [Ed. A vain hope?] And Thea telephoned this morning to let me know that all the WAGs on tour planned to abscond to a Hotel across town. As a non-playing WAG, she thought she should support them. Mrs. Captain said she thought the food would be better, and a woman in her condition has a right to be picky. In any case, no one wants to be around a bunch of old losers.
Apparently, Mrs. Hollywood, who had stayed at SWALEC hoping for a miracle, didn’t know what to do. Apparently she wasn’t impressed when Hollywood was dismissed on Day 4: “Oh, my darling, not again… Please don’t review, please, please, please… Oh, well, that’s done now… Please walk off quickly, without sulking… Oh, that’s done now as well.” Sarah personally drove her to the new Hotel today and helped her unpack. She understands end of career pain.
Overall, the feedback hasn’t been good. Dad said he had altered his will and that Tony Abbott was considering revoking players’ citizenship on the grounds that we were all traitors. Or supported renewable energy. Or had appeared on Q and A.
The Prof leaned over during the call in an attempt to give me some moral support.
“Why not tell them NSW lost the Ashes and apologizes to players from other states for this imbalance?” he said at a volume sufficient to be heard at the other end of the line.
The line went dead. Excellent.