Thursday, November 14, 2019
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Aug 5 – Fourth Test Eve

The successful pranking of the England Team at Nottingham Castle last night has lifted the spirits of the team no end. As for the WAGs, they were still laughing so much they were crying tears of joy into their bowls of Special K this morning.

There is more than a little selection speculation going around, with several options being considered:

  • Reducing the Mitchel Quotient of the team by bringing in Junior Marsh for Junior Junior Marsh
  • Giving up on Adam&Eve and replacing him with Junior Marsh. Mitchell quotient maintained, and a dream “all Marsh middle order” quashed. On the other hand, Junior might bat at three to give Trapper and his wandering technique a rest at 4 and the out of form Sir Captain at 5.


  • Clone UnLucky over night and have him bat at first drop as well as opening.  This has lots of appeal, unless Puff Warner is first to fall – the scorers would have a nightmare working out who was who.

No one is giving anything away, but we’ll find out soon enough tomorrow morning.

There was a feeble attempt at retaliation from the England team as we left the hotel. A number of pairs of green tights were strung across the entry to the hotel driveway, supposedly forming some kind of barricade that our enormous Tour Bus would be delayed by.

Once we were all on the bus, it was the bus driver who led the war-cry: “All for one and one for all.” [Ed I think he was mixing his classics, but who cares!] He gunned the engine and drove straight through the tights.  They didn’t provide any resistance that we could feel as the massive diesel engine propelled the vehicle into the street, but they did stretch a long way before giving way with a loud “twang.” Several of the older players felt the need to check the positioning of their athletic supports, while a pedestrian who had stopped to salute us ended up with a gusset flung onto his face. I’m only guessing, but I doubt this was

Training was again rigorous, with lively sessions involving all the skills of the game. Sir Captain led the catching drills after his unfortunate drop as we pressed for victory at Edgbaston. [Ed. Someone pressed your shirts, but that’s about it.] Likewise, the batting was taken very seriously, and as for the bowlers, if they didn’t maintain their line and length they had to bowl the next three balls wearing green tights.  Not sure where Coach2.0 got them from, but to be honest, it was more of a punishment to the observers than the bowlers themselves.

The rest of the afternoon was spent, well, resting, with a simple meal loaded with energy giving protein and carbs.

Early to bed.

Who knows what the dawn of the Fourth Test will bring.



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