Thursday, November 14, 2019
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Aug 18 – Exit, Stage Left

Dust to Dust Unlucky FinalIt was not unexpected, but UnLucky made the official announcement today that he was pulling up stumps after the Fifth Test. He also made the unofficial announcement at breakfast and the informal announcement on radio. The casual announcements were made in a series of interviews. With a little luck he can grab the 25 runs he needs to reach the milestone of 2,000 runs in 25 tests – although these are dwarfed by the 24,000 odd runs he’s scored in First Class cricket while earning his nickname by not getting a turn in the test team.

Inevitably, while checking out the salubrious digs that come with being Captain-in-Waiting, Trapper managed to lock himself in the Panic Room of his Presidential Suite – he almost missed training while the staff buzzed around trying to remember how to unlock it from the outside. No one knew why Trapper couldn’t have worked out how to unlock it from the inside. At least he’s not claustrophobic.

With two retirees in the side, and everyone else out of form, there is a lot of speculation about the make-up of the side. Swap the Marshes and let the rest lie in the bed they’ve made for themselves is one strategy, or draft in some new blood [Ed. Sacrificial lambs, more like] to see who’s up for a Test Cricket in the future. Gulp. I haven’t had a tap on the shoulder, and no one from a computer game company has been in contact asking me to update my player profile, so who knows?

After training, Parker (the chauffeur we’ve got on retainer) was no where to be seen so we had to catch the tube to do a little sightseeing. The more well-known members of the squad can’t do this, so we can count ourselves lucky. [Ed. If a little low on match fees.]

Waiting for the train, we had time to actually read the billboard advertisements – and they were confusing.  There was a larger than life picture of Tony Robbins telling me to “Unleash the Power Within”, while next to that was a billboard for Imodium.

“So what do you reckon? Should I keep it in, or let it all out?” I asked The Prof.

“Keep some of it in, let some of it out,” he said absentmindedly. “In any case, I could do with some Imodium. That Tony Robbins gives me the . . .”

He was drowned out by the timely arrival of the train.


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