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Nov 11 – Second Test Eve

Did anyone say it was cold down here? It’s supposed to be the height of summer [Ed. Technically still spring, but I agree – this cold weather has rendered my brass monkey incomplete.] If feels like the wind is blowing straight off a monstrous ice bath, but with no big hairy fast bowlers in the way to provide a wind break. [Ed. This unfortunate image has ruined my day]

There tension in the air, with our failure in Perth exposing the inevitable fault lines in the team between those who are dead cert’s, those who are probably dead cert’s, those who Warnie likes, those who Warnie likes but thinks should be dropped, those who Warnie says he thinks he doesn’t like but who secretly are liked by Ian Healy, those with niggling injuries they are trying to hide and those who haven’t scored a run since before August Bank Holiday and should really be back in grade cricket trying to build some form.

The batting is the major concern, with some major changes needed – mainly in the number beside the Captain’s name in the score card. We know ThirdDegreeBurns will be making a return to the team, and that Adam&Eve has bluffed his way into keeping his place in the team in the face of a hamstring tear that’s making him walk like Dame Judy Dench. The big question now is whether or not we are going to go to a Marsh-free top six.  Junior Junior is philosophical about his prospects, but is also fair to say that WhatsHisName from South Australia has employed a bodyguard to help protect himself against unforeseen accidents that would otherwise prevent him from making his Test debut if he’s selected.

We’re certainly going to miss The Freak, who is the leading Test wicket taker of all time in Hobart – 22 wickets at an average of 15 point something. [Ed. The Prof knows this stuff – 17th just reads]. The local fruit and veg shop is going to miss him as well, having ordered a truck load of extra bananas on spec before hearing of his injury. But overall, the bowling stocks look OK – so long as Plopper has recovered from his Day Three of Discontent in Perth.

Weather is not looking like we’re going to get five days play, but we’re keen to chalk a win no matter how much play we get in.

XXXXX XX XX! [Ed. He said “bring it on”, but the cliche deleter is working again.]

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