Wednesday, February 20, 2019
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Best of KP

Dec 23 – Under Seige

The England team have been engulfed in the Swanny controversy, with rumours abounding that the team is about to impode, explode or disappear up their own basksides. I guess there is a sequence of those three things that could be interesting to watch. As a result, the whole England team is in lock down. We haven’t heard anything from Deep ...

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Dec 17 – Day 5 – Third Test

We were in the change rooms after the on-field presentations. I was wedged in the Freak’s locker amongst his banana plantations to avoid the occasional showers of jammed orange quarters, shredded banana skins and beer froth that began a long afternoon of celebration. “Great catch at mid-off, 17th. Ridiculously athletic.” Wicky said hugging me with his gloved hands. “Great move ...

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Dec 14 – Day 2 – Third Test

“What is the longest word you can think of” Puff said, as he stretched out on the banana chair at the hotel pool. The batsmen stopped rubbing each others backs with match balls and reread the English press comments on the day’s play. They all used short words; most of them began with f. No one said anything. A few ...

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Dec 13 – Day 1- Third Test

The Prof finished sticking the last big letter to the page in the Business Centre at the hotel. I admired it’s obsessive quality and child-like authenticity. It was on Yorkshire Cricket Club letterhead and signed Jason. The Prof addressed it to ‘Deep Third’ at the English hotel and asked the paper boy to deliver it. “The etymology is uncertain but the ...

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Dec 10 – The England Files

I received a faded yellow envelope under my door, late. It was from Deep Third. [Ed. As uncommunicative this last week as Qantas CEO Alan Joyce. I’m spending all my FF points this year] On the same Yorkshire letterhead I am well used to, he wrote in what seemed to be a heightened state of delusional psychosis that can only be ...

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